The Self-Mashing Potato. "Right now in Kafkaesque Labs (hidden deep within a pile of bok choy that has lain untouched in the Safeway produce aisle for over a year), tiny elves are at work isolating the mashed potato genome. Once the DNA strand for "wanting to mash yourself" has been isolated, I am confident we will have produced a potato that will be capable of self-mashing." 3 1/2 years later and this still cracks me up, as do redfox's illustrations of said suicidal potatoes.
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